Do you really know who you call your friend(s)? Do they really know you? Do they know what you are going through? To the friends that know you well, best friends , do you value them? Do you appreciate them?
End 2018 & the start of 2019 hasn’t been the best for me, because of many reasons and one of them is making wrong financial decisions (I’ve learnt now, thanks to a good friend) and it went to a point where even some of my family members didn’t talk to me just because I had changed. Which is always viewed as a bad thing when you stop doing what you were doing before, and begin to do something new. Even if that new thing is for your own good.
Trust me, it’s very hard when you are at a low point and the people that are closest to you let you down. I understand why people commit suicide, get depressed, run away... It's because we don’t support our family members at their lowest but are only there to rejoice their highs. That’s why we end up sometimes end up being even closer than family. They literally become family.
Back to the reason why I asked you first, if in your friendship circle you all know each other well...
When I was going through all this, I got to know who my friends were, who my family was and who the friends who are family were. (that's quite a mouthful haha)
Let’s start with the friends, I’ll categorize these into two; the first that always communicate with you, recognize that something is wrong and offer their support and genuinely show that they care for you (I thought I had many but god damn, they narrowed down to 4)
Then, I had the other “friends” who don't give a shit because they only want to be with you at your best and according to them “your best” is the ability to go out and drink yourself stupid till late... Unfortunately, these are the guys who you've always been there for. And I mean always. They tell you their problems and even before they're done talking, you've jumped in with "it's okay, we'll go through it together because that's what friends are for"
Lesson on this group, be careful who you call “my friend”.
I won't talk about family cause damn that was painful, I once cried because I just couldn’t believe it...
Now, to my friends who are family... these are people that I confided in at the very beginning and they never ran away, they’d offer all kind of support to me especially mentally, because I got to a point where I felt worthless and thought to myself that I have served my purpose in life and it was time for me to go.
Every staircase I got to, I thought this was the right time, every balcony I was at, my mind told me this was it, but that constant message from the 2 people who cared about my well-being changed my mind. I would go to bed wishing I would die in my sleep but something pulled me back and I ended up in prayer, because God brought these 2 people in my life to give me hope, to help me believe and overcome whatever I was going through.
So as I come to a close because now I’m getting too emotional, all I’m saying is be there for your friend or family member , show them love, give them hope and pray for them.
It being mental health month, reach out and take time to know your friend very well, appreciate those who have been there for you.
P.s it’s difficult to share such stories, let’s encourage each other to speak up!!!
AM for Probably Asleep
-pictures from Pinterest.