Yesterday, two of my people staged a mini intervention for me, over the phone. At the exact same time. Without them talking to each other first. They were calling me out on some bs because they noticed and that's what friends are supposed to do. And the thing is, it wasn't even really bs, they just know me well enough to know when I'm happily prancing along to get my heart broken and being disappointed and they needed to catch me before I did. And they said the exact same in different ways. One of them told me to not get upset. How could I. I didn't like what they were saying, mostly coz it was just straight up truths, and truths can be so ugly. But they were saying it out of love and so how could I be upset. And I thank them for saying it coz I been knew I just didn't want to admit it to myself. And to hear the two people I love most say it, whoosh! Tears. And then we stayed up till I don't know what time talking about it and trying to figure it out. And then one goes like I love you, you know that right?? Whoosh!! Tears!! Tears!!
I have a core team of three people. Core because I have peoples, but these are my mains. They are my heart, my brain and my lungs. No seriously. I thought about it and that’s exactly what they are. I always tell them I don’t know what I’d do without them and it’s very true. They are my vital organs.
My lungs. Forever constantly keeping me breathing. Filling me with fresh air. Fresh perspective, fresh ideas, fresh advice. We go through similar life events, weird enough, but she handles hers so much better than mine. I have no choice but to look up to her. She always knows what to say and what to do. And when I do know, it helps to hear somebody else reaffirm it. I’m always on the brink of a breakdown. Over there suffocating gasping for air. But she’ll just drop some wisdom and I’ll catch my breath. She’s four months older than I am, but she takes care of me like I am four years younger.
My heart. Honestly, this person is the reason my heart still loves the way it does. Because he will always remind me how special and great I am and how my feelings and my emotions are my greatest asset. I wouldn’t be who I am without him. My heart reminds me that I am fiery, a force to reckon with, a bad bitch. The number of times he’s had to remind me that I’m a bad bitch!! He’s the king of confidence and if I could be but a quarter of everything he is, nobody would rest!! Lol, that’s probably why I have to remain where I am, I am being humbled.
My brain. Who literally gives you a template and rules and guidelines to use to navigate things through life?? Liiike, when I go off doing my own things and then getting myself in trouble, he’ll literally be like “but I gave you the template!” I’m very dreamy and whimsical and having a best friend who is so rational works wonders for me. I am brought back down to earth real quick. And he does it in the sweetest way, don’t get me wrong, he can be kali!! But he knows how to be cruel to be kind.
Honestly, sometimes I just sit and think about how amazing my people are!! I can’t even describe it most of the time because they’re just that wonderful. I’m more than grateful for them. Gah I love my people!!! So so much!!! Can you tell?? Does it show??
Sometimes we're busy looking for love in all the wrong places. But I look at my people and I know love. That's what love is. Surely it must be! The way they handle me, the way they know me, the way they see right through me. The way they're always there. Always. No matter what. We just hold hands and go through our things together. Letting me be my whimsical self but still having a firm hand, making sure I know what reality is. (because surely I am constantly lost in the clouds). They know how to let me know when I'm too busy feeling and not doing. They know me. The good, the bad, the ugly, the brilliant. And in a way, their love has taught me how I would like to be loved by every other person. With intention, with purpose, with kindness. It’s the little things. The way they love me, it gets overwhelming sometimes. These are genuinely beautiful friendships. I could never thank them enough. And I hope everyone can get people like mine.
Honestly, I just wanted to gush over my friends because I love them way too much and their intervention was such a wakeup call. A very necessary one. One day, when it’s figured out, I’ll tell you all about it! When I’ve been freed from bondage. Haha. That’s a bit dramatic, but for real. It's surely bondage.
From my heart to yours.
S.O for Probably Asleep.