I am taking a break from watching Love Island for the rest of this week. Last night’s episode had me TRIGGERED!!! Lol. I am LIVID!!!! Liiike. I feel stressed tf out. I am BOILING!!!!!!!
Okay for those who don’t know what Love Island is, that’s a personal problem, you should know. Go watch it. lol. Okay okay. It’s a game show of some sort and people go this island to look for love and like if you’re not in a couple you get sent home and people recouple and such and such and at the end a couple wins money. Got it?? sorta?? Haya go watch.
So anyway, why am I so so mad??? Well!!! This guy had been coupled up with this girl. She’s a fiery one. like she’s the type of people you meet and dislike at first coz their confidence can be mistaken for cockiness. But then you grow to love her. Him he is ah, okay. So he fancied her right?? And pursued her. She told him YOU LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WHO WILL RUIN A GIRL’S LIFE. He was like naah naah, sijui she'll fit in with his family sijui what. So then she let her guard down and they were like together together. They were pretty good actually. Then in one of the challenges, (they play tu games. I’ve told you go watch) he finds out that the public thinks that he’s whipped. (Whipped as in being totally controlled and dominated by your girlfriend and like doing everything she says) That’s where in my opinion, he started being shady and his true self started to show. Because he wanted to gain control back. Lol. He was feeling a ways about being told he’s whipped and the superiority complex began to show!!!! Like he started ignoring her sijui what, hanging out with the lads instead of her. He was just moving mad. Then now new girls came onto the show and he went straight to talking about his girl behind her back to a new girl he was interested in. Apparently now his girl was immature and childish. Too immature and childish for him. And ati he couldn’t be himself with her. Mind you please, he had said she was the female version of him and he liked it. Now he chose the other girl. Which is perfectly fine, because you must choose who you feel you have a connection with. But was it necessary to have talked smack about her to the new girl?? Like si you just vibe with someone without bashing the other person??? You're so unnecessary.
Please!!!! Tell me what’s with mandem and slagging off girls they're with to other girls??? Lol that’s why I’m triggered. Liiike. You were liking me when I was childish and immature. You’re the one who came after me. I was busy minding my business. If you hadn’t approached the earth me would remain in orbit on its axis just fine. The sun would still rise and set. But you carried your whole self to DM me, to text me, to call me. It’s not like I hid my true self. Lol. Straight up I told you I was emotional af and I put it all out there so you know. Let you know early enough because the exit door is always open and readily available for use. But no, you chose to stay. Said you can handle it. AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN I BECOME TOO MUCH????? Naah fam, bye. Loool I’m actually really mad. Haha. I have told mandem nicely that I’m a fireball, I’m living emotions and feelings and that I’m softer than soft. AND THEN HE WENT TO TELL GHELS HOW I’M TOO SENSITIVE AND MY AGE SHOWS SO I’M IMMATURE AND HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT BECAUSE HE HAS TO BE UNCOMFORTABLY CAREFUL AROUND ME!!!!! Bruuuh!!! You kneeeew!!!! I told youuuu!!!! You could’ve gone. You SHOULD’VE gone!!! Now I was there looking at myself like how can I be less of me so he can deal with it!!!! hahaha. What!!! As in!! Mind you, if I hadn’t been told, I’d never know that’s what he feels. Its not a discussion someone has come to me and had properly, because for sure I would have said its okay to go or like looked for middle ground and we figure out how to deal. But no, everyone is now looking at me coz they’ve heard I’m moving mad.
Pause. That brings up another thing. Why tf would you be talking about me and then come laugh and smile and love me to my face??? Not even partners, like friends and relatives. You’ve gone and said such bad things, told everyone my business and made people have certain perceptions of me and then you want to come be chummy to my face?? If you love me, why are you portraying me in that light?? We haven’t even like argued so at least we justify it a little bit by saying you’re upset?? You’re really just speaking out of free will with a sound mind???? Noooo!!! Y’all, I’m pissed. Lol. So so pissed.
Lol I literally had to go calm down first because I could feel the not so nice words wanting to come out. Clearly this is my unresolved issue. Haha
So where was I. Yes, please, if you have a problem with me or my personality or my actions, let us discusss it together. Not with random ass people who don’t know what my middle name is. Got these randoms asking me extremely personal shit as if they butter my bread. Stop talking about me to make yourself look better. Stop talking about me to make yourself look like a martyr for dealing with me. Stop talking about me PERIODT!!!!! If you don’t like me, GOOOOO!!!! No one is forcing you remain here!!! If you think its something we can talk about, then let’s. lol I’m so exhausted. the shadiest of people be the ones knowing how to proclaim things about me. I really wish I was problematic. But I just go and cry in a corner. Sometimes I wish I could fight as well. Let’s be honest, if I am too much for anybody in any way, it simply means they are not meant to be in my life. Whoosh. The word ‘too’ is such a trigger word. Too emotional, too sensitive, too much. Like even now when someone says something to me and they’re being all respectful and happen to say “too emotional” for lack of a better description, Loool I’m ready to throw hands! Guns blazing!!
Lol I’m still mad man. I refuse to be watered down to make people comfortable with who they are. If you’re dull, you’re dull fam. Brighten tf up. Or moooove!!!! Especially if me being me doesn’t hurt you, doesn’t harm, or doesn’t interfere with your livelihood. What is the problem!!! And the worst bit is, when people are busy slagging you off, they make it look like you are unreasonable and nothing can be discussed with you rationally. Like you’re absolutely insane. I really hate that. People can build up a whole persona and now that’s who you are. Whereas some of us have tried our best to understand your tu issues, understand who you are, come up with a comprehensive reference to be looking at to describe why you are who you are. And I get we’re all not the same and you wont do what I do, but why does yours have to be hurtful. Ai. This is truly my unresolved issue. Lol. Like imagine you’re free to go, it’s not a must. Because my people, my actual people, when they feel something is getting out of hand, or needs to be put in check, they sit me down and say “babes, we need to fix this. this is how we think you should go about it” and such and such. The amount of damage you do to someone just because you make them feel bad for you not being able to deal with who they are. Eh, just go where you can manage please. Go respectfully. Let people get to know me for themselves. Without your tu shady comments lingering in the background.
Lol whoosh. That was bottled up. Haha does it show??? I just felt a whole ways. And now I’m on Love Island time out. I’ll really miss seeing Ovie. *sigh* Y’all should go watch just to see mans like Ovie!!!! A whole dzaddy!!!!! Even my mum said he has a nice face!!
Be Kind Always!! Especially with your words!!
S.O for Probably Asleep
-piccies from Pinterest and Ovie's instagram. Lol