Wasuuup bitcheees!!! It's been a while. Life has really been happening. I don't even know where I can start. I was telling my software developer that I've neglected my site so much the poor thing must just be accumulating dust. So here I am, doing spring cleaning on the poor abandoned website. But I'm back now, and I promise to be way more consistent. Like I said, life has really been happening. In the worst of ways and in the best. Worst I will share when I'm ready to speak about it. Best, well, I met some of the most amazing people ever, so warm and fun and talented. I love them so much. Also I had a hot girl summer. Steaming hot. Lemme tell you the tea is piping hot with that one and I can't wait to share.... Eventually hehe
So anyway!! I'm on this thing of rediscovering myself by breaking down the very essence of exactly who I am. I love love astrology amd star signs and I'm a strong strong Sagittarius sun with a Libra moon. Liiiike if you just read deeply, that's exactly exactly who I am. Okay, I'll highlight the good and bad traits for those ones who won't read deeply (although I really really think you should) Some of the good traits include harmonious, balanced, frequent travelers, interesting, easy-going, helpful, enjoy making people happy, fun, compassionate, good looking, physically active but to name a few. And the not so good traits include indecisive, reckless, thoughtless, prone to overthinking, bad with handling money, prone to taking risks, among others. Loool pale kwa reckless you'll hear about it more in the Clown Diaries. Bad with handling money is so true. Gooosh. For shame.
But yeah, so I'm looking into the different aspects of who I am. Breaking down the littlest things and exploring those. Another thing I'm big on is names. Whoosh. I find names so important and heavy. Like you can't just be naming your child anything. We carry our names with us for the rest of our lives. Our names are who we are. You can be exactly what you are named if you like dig deep enough. An element of it is always there.
So I have 4 names. Loool. Gah. I never really let everyone know all 4. Like if you know all 4, we're CLOSE close. Or you've been peeking at my passport. So yeah 4 names. I've loved 2 of my names more than the others. Till I found out what they mean and stuff and now I feel like I need to be referred to by my other names because they are bomb!!
So I have a Kikuyu name. to rep the Kikuyu blood that's in the mix. my sister got a Nandi name to rep the Nandi blood, and I've always secretly wished I got a Nandi one as well. I don't really use my Kikuyu name. Don't really, lol, I don't use it at all mehn. But honey!!! Kumbe it means the highest standard to which a woman can be held. It's a description of a true true Proverbs 31 woman. Loool. It's no wonder I really enjoy being in relationships and having that sort of intimacy with one person that I can take care of and love. My name literally makes me a Proverbs 31 wife and I've just been clowning in these streets. Looool see my life.
My other name, means 'life' in Hebrew. And 'to provide refuge/ take care of' in Arabic. I'm most excited when something has an Arabic translation because the Arab in me is stroooong. I really really fucks with my Arab side heavy. When I have to explain something about myself, I always open my mouth to say it's coz I'm Mwarabu wa Komoro (Arab from the Comoros islands). So like for my name to mean provide refuge. Faaam. Until recently that was exactly who I am. Juzz taking care of everyone. Till I decided I needed to take care of myself first so I can be able to be that to other people. So I'm just here being my own damn refuge.
And for it to mean life at the same time. I think that's really powerful because when anything is taken care of and taken care of well, then life and prosperity comes from it. I'm just here blowing my own damn mind.
Third name, Shufaa. My second favourite. It means forgiveness is Kiswahili. And heal, restore, cure or something to that effect in Arabic. I find that so so cute. Forgiveness is one of the most profound things for me. Being able to just forgive does not come easy at all. So sometimes I just whisper to myself "Shufaa, give shufaa" and I giggle and end up forgiving every damn body. Because it's my name. And then now the combination of healing and restoration. The way they go hand in hand with forgiveness!!! My parents did a ting and I don't even think they know they did a ting!!!
Now, my favourite!! My surname. Othman. It's juzz so powerful please!!! Excuse!! First just coz it sounds so nice. Second, it's an archaic transliteration of Osman. Osman 1 was the leader of the Ottoman Turks and the founder of the Ottoman dynasty. The Ottoman Empire was one of the mightiest and longest-lasting dynasties in world history, and the Ottoman Turks are often remembered for their powerful military, ethnic diversity, artistic ventures, religious tolerance and architectural marvels. Okay history class over, go read the rest on your own. Nooow, the leader was a Sultan so best believe, that I believe I'm a princess. Somehow somewhere I have a drop of royal blood and you definitely can't convince me otherwise!!! Liiiike I carry that name with so much pride. For sure if I was there in 1299 I'd legit be royalty. But so that I remain humble, I was born in the 21st century instead. But for sure, I'm a princess.
So like can you even with the power and strength in each of my names!! Like the best way to summarise and combine them all, I'm a force.
The other day, a brilliant artist asked me what my spirit animal was, and I said a Phoenix. Because from the ashes I rise. I manage to get new life whenever I feel broken down, I forgive others and myself, I take care of myself as I continue to heal and be restored. I am evolving into a woman of high esteem. I am fiery. I am treasure, I am royalty. I am Shufaa E. N. Othman.