You know how I told ya’ll that I’m conducting a research study on dating and relationships and such and such?? Well, the study has been ongoing but I’m afraid I’m taking a break a little bit. Why? Lol. You know how you’re not supposed to become attached to subjects in an experiment so that your results are not bias and all that?? Yeeaaah!! Like the unprofessional researcher I am, I was there attaching myself like Velcro!!! and I humbly had to come up with another category of people in the dating game.
Crop Eight: The Clowns.
These people read the danger sign and still walk right into it. The janitor has put up the “caution, wet floor” sign but we still be running in the corridors. Liiike, something has literally announced itself, the flags are all giant and red, the signs are neon and flashing, there’s adverts and reviews everywhere!! But nooo. We’re still jumping on it as if it’s the next big thing. We, because until recently, I have been a member of this elite group. Me and a couple of my people as well. We have been the brand ambassadors and flag bearers. We have been the people of reference. The key note speakers. Lol. The clowns know damn well something is not good for them and encourage it. In fact, many a time, they persistently chase it as well!! The clowns are victims of heartbreak and deception, but somehow, the foolishness takes over and they repeatedly find themselves back in situations that break their heart. Sometimes the exact same situations, other times different ones. Clowns know better, but for some reason just don’t do better. A group of clowns, for example my friends and I, are the worst because they find solace in each other and unknowingly encourage clown behavior. They will complain about being done dirty but honey, we know we shouldn’t have picked up that phone call in the first place, or replied the text, or gotten into that cab. Loool.
As a spokesperson for the clown membership, or as my friends say “the dean of students of clown academy” I have a few lessons to share.
First, Dua Lipa’s song ‘New Rules’ should be recited every single morning and night and in every moment of weakness.
“One, don’t pick up the phone, you know he’s only calling coz he’s drunk and alone,
Two, don’t let him in, you’ll have to kick him out again,
Three, don’t be his friend, you know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning
If you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him.”
I feel like it’s very self explanatory please. And it always somehow fits every situation a clown finds themselves. but you know what we do?? We jam to the song and then get onto the next bus to Clown Town.
Second, and I know we already know this. Don’t be filling blanks for yourself. Because we’re filling in what we want and what we hope something will be and more often than not, its very wrong!!! Ambiguity is a clown’s best friend because we feel like we make it whatever we want it to be. And clowns are dreamers. So no, that ex doesn’t necessarily want you back just because he's still talking to you. So move!!
Third, if you have more questions than answers please just exit. I don’t know why sometimes us clowns enjoy puzzles. Everything is just puzzling. Do they like you or nah? Are they still with them or nah? Are we together or nah? Is it me they want to be with?? Loool firsts, its not you!! If it was you, you would know!! If someone is unhappy somewhere and didn’t want that situation, they would leave. Please, stop waiting in a nonexistent line!!! Yesterday they were all over you, today you’re being ignored. And you’re puzzled. Wondering. Lol. Concerned. Oya!! Just take your L.
Fourth, this one was already in my previous post, but you see I don’t even listen to my damn self. And that my friends, is where I go wrong!! Don’t get caught up in being wanted!!! People will treat you how you allow them to!! And it’s really hard to teach an old dog new tricks. Its not impossible, but when someone is very used to treating you a certain way, it’s very difficult to get them to start treating you the way you actually want to be treated. Don’t give people a through pass because it’s just easier. Stand firm in what you believe in and the values you hold dear and honestly, just simply what you want. The worth it ones will respect it and stick around. The ones who fall off were never meant to be there in the first place. I really can’t emphasize this any more. Especially to myself.
Clowning makes for good good story times and it is fun as hell. Until it's not and you go get your feelings hurt. The problem with clowning is you know damn well you shouldn't have and still do. Like you could've avoided it with every ounce of your being but didn't. I don't know, there's some blind optimism that doesn't lead to anything good.
Don't get me wrong, there's still absolutely horrible people out there who stay hurting feelings and being ugly on the inside. Those are not my concern. My concern is those of us who truly truly have been through things and are therefore aware. We mustn't keep returning to that which broke us in the first place. However familiar and comfortable we are with it. The new is scary, I know, but like would it hurt to stop clownery?? I don't think so.
Officially no longer a clown,
S.O for Probably Asleep.